Our Memorial Day weekend was fun, I am bummed that I missed out on our friends and their 3 kids visiting us on Sunday because I had a day long migraine. argh....
Get a load of my adorable kayakers.

We sold the bike seat and I find myself so sad about it. That bike seat has held all 3 of our children on several different bikes and many, many memorable family bike rides. Our littlest is now 4 and 1/2 and just too big for it, so we decided that now is the time. There will be no more babies of ours to ride in that seat and kick us while we pedal to the park or the Pere Marquette trail we love so much. No more babies to wriggle their feet out of the straps, causing whoever is cycling to come to an abrupt halt and fix those feet before they get hurt. We've been reaching so many of these kinds of 'last baby' moments lately, the last 2 times I had a four year old, I also had a newborn. No wonder I am so reluctant to let this boy of mine grow up too fast, I indulge him and his whims way more than I did with the girls. So true is the stereotype of the baby in our family, he is charming and gets his way more often than not.

So now he'll be pulled in the bike trailer until he can ride on a bike himself, and then I'll be writing another post about how we sold the Burley and how sad I am to see it go. Life goes on

Thanks for the sweet comments on my whine post from yesterday. Just to clarify, I wasn't referring to any one group or any one person in my rant. I seem to feel like this about all of my social networks. Not that there are that many, but you know what I mean. I know that I make myself feel like the outsider, that rotten little voice in my head that says I'm not good enough or special enough to be included.

Ok, let's not be depressing for two days in a row.

My 8 year old went to the eye doc yesterday and it turns out she's farsighted in her right eye. She'll need to wear glasses for
reading and working (haha) on the computer. I was shocked as I thought for sure she'd take after me (as she does in all other ways) and be nearsighed. But she isn't, and I'm glad for her. The frames she picked out are kind of boring, but I didn't tell her that. I wanted her to pick out these really cute and funky ones but she went for the more school marmish ones. No, I didn't criticise her choice! I was very supportive. That's what us mamas are supposed to be, right?

I am thinking of buying a Wii for the kids (um, yeah, just the kids), it just looks so fun in the ads. they really emphasize the fact that you can be standing and active while playing. I like that. It's pricey though and I know we indulge our kiddos so much, so I am still in the thinking stages right now. we'll see, that's my motto today.

Warning, navel gazing and much whining below. Not the usual theme of this blog. Read at your own risk.

I'm feeling left out.

I used to think that being popular didn't matter once you got out of high school, but now I'm not so sure. I don't think I'll ever be that person that everyone wants to be best buddies with. Why is that? I'm funny, interesting, fairly well read, a good listener. Dammit, I'm good enough, right?
channeling some self-help guru here...

So why am I not the one being invited anywhere? Why does it seem I am the one who has to set something up for me to be included? I don't get it. Why do I seem to be last on the list? Do I have to extend myself even more than I feel I already do?
How come some people can come into a situation or a group and barely know anyone and then all of a sudden they are best pals with several others? How do they do that? I really would like to know.

I used to think not having close friends anymore was because of isolating myself when I when through episodes of depression but I have been really pushing myself to socialize for more then 6 months and things feel the same.

None of these feelings are being helped by the fact that my cousin, who has been my very closest friend since we were kids has pretty much dumped me for a guy she met last summer. They were living together after 3 months and got married after 6 months. She has not told me any of this herself, I've heard it allthrough the grapevine. real, nice, huh? I'm really hurt and cannot even bring myself to think about it too much.

The Craft Extrvaganza was awesome, we bought tons of loot. I will post pic in another post. My camera batteries are recharging at the moment.

I found a great tutorial for a coin/credit card holder at this site
http://www.splityarn.com/

I made 3 of these for a small handmade item swap at Swap-Bot. It was scanned so it looks a little flat, but I really love the way they came out. I must make more.

The girls and I are going to this today, I think we'll find lots of cool goodies. I'll try to post pics of any if we do.
My two men are up north, the big man called and said they were going mountain biking on a trail close to my parent's cottage. Little man will be in the Burley trailer, I hope he likes the bumps. I can't write too much about him because I miss him too much. Why is it when they're little, it's so hard to be away. Ok, he's 4 and 1/2, some may not consider that too little but he's still my baby. *sniff*

It's only words.
You.
Can.
Only.
Type.
One.
Word.

No.
Explanations.

1. Yourself: relaxed
2. Your boyfriend/girlfriend (spouse): eating
3. Your hair: longer
4. Your mother: generous
5. Your father: mysterious
6. Your favorite item: yarn
7. Your dream last night: weird
8. Your favorite drink: Coke
9. Your dream car: Mini
10. The room you are in: upstairs
11. Your ex: forgot
12. Your fear: balding
13. What you want to be in 10 years? graduate
14. Who you hung out with last night? husband
15. What you're not? confident
16. Muffins: poppyseed
17. One of Your Wish List Items: stare
18. Time: 7:16
19. The last thing you did: questionnaire
20. What you are wearing: tank
21. Your favorite weather: summer
22. Your favorite book: fiction
23. The last thing you ate: cereal
24. Your life: unfulfilled
25. Your mood: annoyed
26. Your best friend: nope
27. What are you thinking about right now? finishing
28. Your car: boring
29. What are you doing at the moment? thinking
30. Your summer: fun
31. Your relationship status: married
32. What is on your TV? photos
33. What is the weather like? sunny
34. When is the last time you laughed? afternoon

Your turn!

A friend made lunch for me yesterday, it was delicious and we had some great conversation. Then, to top it all off, she took my 4 year old for the rest of the afternoon. Yes, she's one of those good friends. :-)
Then that evening we met up at a really fun park, where all the kids played and my 12 year and her 13 year actually spoke to each other for once. Heh, adolescents of the opposite gender can be so weird with each other at times.

So, it was a good day, then why did it end up with me being mean and unsympathetic to my 8 year old? Granted, she was being unresonable but so was I and since I'm the adult, I figure I should be the one to suck it up sometimes when it's late and she's obviously tired. But I didn't, and she cried and I felt like a crappy person. We made up before she went to bed, but I was stewing about it until I went to bed. Why can I be so understanding about some things but such a creep about others?

Today we spent the day straightening up this mess of a house. My fabulous husband cleaned our youngest kids' room. It was a total disaster. You know the kind where you can't see the floor? While he did that, the 8 year old helped me clean up the living room. My oldest was nowhere to be seen. She was upstairs making something and I was nagging her every few minutes to come down and help. Boy, did I feel dumb when I found out she was up there making me a Mother's Day present. She was so excited about what she made that she gave it to me early and it is the cutest thing. You'll have to wait until tomorrow to see a picture.

The 5 of us are going out to brunch for Mother's Day tomorrow and then off to Tess' piano recital. It should be fun. I can't wait to hear my persnickity 4 year declare that nothing at the brunch is good for him to eat. lol

I am still sleeping way too much, I know it is an avoidance tactic. Could it be more obvious? haha
What am I avoiding? hmmm, that's not as obvious. Let's see, housework, talking animals for the 50th time,
exercise, cooking. I was just not cut out for the life of a housekeeper. Stay at home mom, yes, I can do that
when it involves playing with the kids, doing arts and crafts, reading books to them.

But I'm just lousy at housework, I can't keep up, I get annoyed and oh so bored and the husband is
really getting oh so frustrated with me. I am home all day, why can't I get some laundry done? Why is the
house a constant mess? It isn't fair, I feel guilty, fall into spiral of self-loathing and then do nothing.

I am so predictable.

At least I'm still creating, the only positive thing I am doing, apparently. Can you guess the theme?

Two new postage stamp ATCs, I like the praying mantis one the best. LOL


Ten Two Studios is offering free downloads again. There will be a new download from today until May 13th.
Have fun! http://www.tentwostudios.com/countdown/